At first I thought it was going to be like our last few clinicals where I was bored to tears. For the first two hours or so, we watched the nurses eat their full-course breakfasts complete with omelettes, bacon, home fries (which everyone complained were too salty), bagels smushed with avocado (WTF?), and toast—with Smart Balance spread of course. We did not partake in their feast though one nurse offered me a Starburst. When they were done eating they proceeded to cackle about the Kardashians, the Gosselins, and just about every other celebrity as they perused their mile-high stack of trash mags. The conversation then shifted to Martha Stewart, how they liked their Bloody Mary’s spicy, and so on. One even remarked, “Oh, I remembered to bring my iPod today.” None of them wore stethoscopes (not much patient care going on anyway) and honestly you couldn’t tell the nurses from housekeeping as both wore varicolored scrubs.
But it got better.
When it was all said and done I got to see a vaginal birth, a C-section, an epidural placed, and a D&E (dilation and evacuation). Just for that stroke of luck, you can bet your sweet ass that I won’t see anything else the rest of this rotation. The vaginal birth was great—as the mother of three I had been wanting to be on “the other end” for once. The baby was big (8+ pounder) and mom was small which unfortunately landed her with a third-degree laceration (tear) in the end. The C-section was a lot faster than I’d thought it would be—if I had blinked I would have missed it. The patient came in actually wanting to try a VBAC, but the doc wasn’t having it. I think they did entertain the idea at first until her blood pressure went up and the baby starting having decels. Third patient had a history of a LEEP and was dilating slow as molasses (which I’m told often occurs with LEEP patients). She was only 2 cm dilated when they gave her the epidural (I thought you had to be at least 4 cm), but she just couldn’t take the pain anymore—the Nubain just wasn’t cutting it. They were also augmenting her labor with Pitocin (which in my experience creates the worse contractions), and she was now having contractions every 2-3 minutes. Hell I’d want my epidural too. It was the D&E that kinda bothered me. A D&E is a surgical/therapeutic abortion done in the second trimester. Basically the cervix is dilated and the contents of the uterus are removed by vacuum. They use an ultrasound to make sure they got all the tissue out. But it just seemed like there was blood everywhere—they were slinging it and tossing bloody gloves and instruments and whatnot. And right after that—we got to eat lunch! Sheesh…
That’s all for now folks—a nap is definitely in order!